1 in 5 relationships begin online. That’s what those commercials tell you at least. It’s supposed to make you feel better about online dating, but I guess I am just too smart for those online marketing executives because THOSE ARE NOT GOOD ODDS! Why would that make me feel better??? 1 in 5 is only 20%. That means that 80% of relationships DON’T begin online. That means 80% of relationships begin some other way. I’d like to know how. They don’t tell you that. Because I’d take 80% over 20% any day, and I’m not even that good at math.
I’m sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. My name is Miss July and I’m a 31-year-old Southern liberal, and I’m Accidentally Single. Looking back I suppose I can see how it happened, but it certainly wasn’t expected. All my life people have told me what a great wife and mother I would be. I just have THOSE QUALITIES, you know? Maternal and crafty and good at baking. Upon learning I’m single, an older male coworker stated: “That’s such a loss for humanity.” Obviously! But if I have such great wife/mother potential, why hasn’t anyone snatched me up yet?
If you’d asked 16-year-old me, I would have been sure I’d meet Mr. Right in college, get married around 24 and have a couple of kids by 30. 21-year-old me ended up being pretty glad I didn’t like any of those guys in college, because I really enjoyed living with my bestie in cute little apartments that we decorated with DIY thrift store finds, going out for margaritas, and 80s night at our favorite neighborhood dives. My early 20s were lots of fun! Why would I want to be tied down? In my mid 20s, I bought a condo and went to grad school and worked on my career. I did a little dating but just never found Mr. Right. Now I find myself OVER 30 (dun-dun) and still single. I wasn’t really trying to stay single all these years, it just happened by accident.
Despite the fact that I’ve always been extremely private about my dating experiences, somehow my best friend (we’ll call her Miss November) convinced me sharing these stories with the world would be hilarious, or maybe just therapeutic. So here we go: I will over-share my dating adventures, the highs and lows of single life, and my search for Mr. Right for your amusement/horror here on the internet. Since my parents really want grandkids, wish me luck!