Good thing, after a little self-psychoanalysis, that I bounce back quickly. After deciding not to let Mr. February forever ruin me to all guys (despite his not funny joke in happier times that he was probably my last hope for marital bliss-as IF!) I quickly proceeded to schedule some dates to re-build my confidence. Enter Mr. April, #1. (Spoiler alert: There are multiple Mr. Aprils.)
So Mr. April-1 and I arranged to meet up totally through email and text. (Oh, texting. Something that wasn’t as common last time I did this dating thing. As if I needed another complication to deal with trying to maintain a relationship!) Mr. April-1 and I had been emailing, but I felt like things were moving pretty slowly. I hadn’t responded to him in a few days because I was trying to decide what I wanted to do. It seemed like we had some things in common, but his emails were disturbingly formal, plus I was starting to wonder if he was ever going to ask me out or if we were just going to be pen pals. He just wasn’t “flirting” with me in any way. I actually started to wonder if he was working with a dating coach or following some kind of guidebook, every move seemed so calculated. Exchange a minimum of 3 emails discussing hobbies, interests, and work. After the third email, ask if she’s comfortable exchanging phone numbers. Wait 2 days, then call her. I don’t know if I am explaining it well, but I just wasn’t feeling the “e-chemistry” and couldn’t decide if I thought it would get better in person (if we ever got to that point). Then he sent me this message: “Hey, Miss July, I haven’t heard from you in awhile, so I am taking that to mean that you have decided to go a different direction. I did enjoy getting to know you a little bit and I wish you best of luck in the future. Have a wonderful day!” I couldn’t ignore the irony in that, since I’d sent a very similar version of that email to Mr. February only weeks earlier. “Well, at least this guy seems like a grown up, and has the guts to follow up,” I thought to myself. So I emailed him back, apologizing for the delay and telling him I’d still like to meet him, was he free this week? (Figured I’d push it along myself.) I gave him my number and although he did try to call me prior to the date, we had a bad connection and couldn’t hear each other. So we arranged everything via text. I still wasn’t super excited about it, but that just gave him the benefit of my low expectations, right?
We met up for drinks after work, which turned into dinner since the conversation was going really well. After about 3 hours we called it a night. I was relieved that he was drastically less formal in person than over email (I think I might have been onto something with the dating coach theory), we had plenty of things to discuss, and he made me laugh…but I just didn’t feel that instant “click.” He said he’d like to see me again, and I agreed to go out with him again (unless someone is awful, I will usually give them a second chance even if I don’t feel anything right away), but we both had full schedules for the rest of the week so we didn’t make any firm plans.
We texted periodically for a week or so, and then I got another very clinical-sounding email letting me know that he thought I was a wonderful girl and he had a great time on our date. Although we had talked about seeing each other again, he met someone he really hit it off with and planned to put all his energy into pursuing that relationship. I emailed him back with a hearty congratulations, thanked him again for our date and also for not leaving me hanging. It was oddly encouraging! While Mr. April-1 wasn’t my match, he at least behaved like a grown-up and showed me that unlike Mr. February, there are guys out there that aren’t afraid to tell girls the truth. What a relief!