Where Mr. April-1 and I had taken weeks to get through the online dating communication process, move on to more emailing, then texting until finally meeting up, Mr. April-2 and I connected online and met up within about 4 days. Mr. April-2 was a real estate investor, lived in the neighborhood I grew up in (and love), and also loved taking his dog to walk on the greenways. After chatting online and then giving him my number, he texted me almost immediately, and after a few exchanges told me he’d call me after he took care of some work. He called as promised, we talked and flirted for about half an hour, and he asked me out for dinner, so I said yes. He had a really annoying accent (from Wisconsin) but that was about all I could see that was wrong with him. He was funny, confident, and seemed really mature. We made plans to go to a great new neighborhood place we’d each only been to once. The next day, he texted me something cute (I honestly don’t remember what) and said he was looking forward to our date. I was too! Then…he texted me and asked if I’d rather eat at a different restaurant (he suggested a couple of new choices). I said it didn’t matter. Then the next day, he texted me AGAIN asking if I wanted to go see a comedy show instead. At this point, I was feeling kind of red-flaggy. Does he have ADD, or is he just trying to make a good impression by trying to do something I’ll enjoy? Is this some sort of test to see how flexible I am? Again, I said it didn’t matter, that would be fun too. So he says he’s reserved our tickets, and that we should meet there are 6:45. Um…what about dinner? I know we won’t really get to talk during the show, and now I need to eat beforehand? What kind of first date is this? The day of our date, he texted me that he was looking forward to meeting me and to plan to eat dinner at the club. OK, well, that’s one question down.
So I head out on Wednesday to meet Mr. April-2 at the comedy club. While I’m on my way, he calls and says he had an emergency at the house he’s renovating, and he’s running a little late. Since I’m already en route, I know I am just going to have to go wait on him. So he finally gets there and he apologizes profusely for being late, and while I’m a little irritated that our already limited “getting to know you” time has been cut short, I try to stay positive; he truly seemed upset that I’d had to wait, and it really did seem like an emergency that he couldn’t have anticipated. We have a nice chat waiting on the show to start, but the place is loud and it’s just not ideal for a first date. I’m relieved when the show starts and I don’t have to yell at him over the noise anymore, because my throat is starting to hurt. The warm up acts are funny enough. Then the featured guy comes out…I can’t remember his name but apparently his claim to fame is being a part of the Charlie Sheen roast. He started out his set with a rape joke. A rape joke. He continued with more rape jokes, jokes about abuse to women, etc. Basically, his whole shtick was about him being a douchebag. I was horrified. This wasn’t funny at all. And…Mr. April-2 was beside me, cackling away (super annoying laugh too, much like his accent) like this was the funniest stuff he’d ever heard, while I think my mouth just hung open for the next 45 minutes. This was not going to work out. The best part was, after it was over, he turned to me very seriously and said, “He was really offensive.” Could have fooled me, I thought. I agreed that yes, he was very offensive. I think he could tell I was not amused. Forget three strikes, I was calling a major foul on this guy.
I think we both had the feeling by now that this was our first and last date. He walked me to my car, thanked me for coming out and then practically ran away from me. Um, shouldn’t that have been my move? I guess he wants a girl that can appreciate “rape humor.” Anyway, I never expected to hear from him again, and that would have been fine by me. However, the next morning he sent me a very nice text, thanking me for the date, but apologizing that he didn’t feel a connection. I responded quickly, thanking him, agreeing that there was no connection for me either, and wishing him good luck. And once again, I sat there in awe that a guy I’d known less than a week and met one time had shown more respect for me than a guy I’d known ten years and went out with for a month. Mr. April-2, lover of rape humor, did continue to renew my confidence that there are men out there who can date like grownups, and that my Mr. February experience was not representative of every man I am ever going to date. I do think I’ll decline any future first dates at the comedy club, though.