Mr. April, Number 3

Mr. April #3. I really don’t have much to say about him, and he didn’t behave badly so I wasn’t sure if I should even include him. Sort of like Mr. April-1, this one was a little slow getting off the ground. Mostly because I was already talking to Mr. Aprils 1-2, and I was terrified if I scheduled a third date in one week I’d almost certainly call someone by the wrong name or something. So, I purposefully delayed my responses to #3 in order to buy myself a little more time.

Since things didn’t exactly take off with the other guys, I sent Mr. April-3 my email address and phone number so he could contact me and we could make plans to go out. Shockingly, a couple of days after I did this, he called. JUST CALLED. No email first, no text first, just picked up the phone and called. Even Mr. February sent me an email before he called, and we had known each other for ten years! I was pretty impressed. Whether that was a strategic move or he just doesn’t have a texting plan- I was intrigued. Unfortunately, I missed his call the first time around, and he left a pretty adorable message in which he nearly forgot to leave his number at the end. I called him back and we very efficiently made a plan to meet for dinner in a couple of days-no extra chatting. I was starting to figure out that his very…efficient communication style might indicate he was really shy.

This suspicion was confirmed upon meeting him for our date. He was clearly nervous (and already had a drink in hand), and told me that he “wasn’t very good at this.” I tried to put him at ease by telling him that I can carry on a conversation with a brick wall, not to worry, it would be fine. Since I’m really attracted to confidence (something this guy wasn’t exactly radiating), and I was already having to reassure him 5 minutes into our date, I didn’t really have high hopes at this point. But once he relaxed, we had a really nice conversation. He indicated he’d like to see me again over the weekend. I wasn’t free, and I told him that, but that I was available the next week. I’m not sure if he thought I was trying to let him down easy, or maybe he didn’t want to see me and was just being a guy with the whole “we should do this again” thing, but he never called me to schedule another date. I would’ve gone out with him again, but I didn’t feeling anything strong enough to make the next move myself, either.

I’m surprised that a guy with enough confidence to just call me straight out wasn’t more confident on our date, when much more outgoing guys have gone through a process of email and text communication before picking up the phone. I think everyone gets nervous before a first date- that’s normal. But I’m also a “fake it til you make it” kind of girl- I’ll act like I know what I’m doing most of the time, and it did throw me off a little bit when he confessed his nerves. I wish that I could have been a little more appreciative of his vulnerability, but I felt like I was going to have to do the heavy lifting at that point, and it wasn’t exactly a turn-on.

So, did I give up on Mr. April-3 too soon? Am I terrible for not being that interested simply because he had the nerve to be human and openly nervous? Is it becoming increasingly obvious to ya’ll why I’m still single? Anyone care to fill me in?

9 thoughts on “Mr. April, Number 3

  1. Shy, nervous, unsure of how to handle a relative stranger–sounds just like the first few dates I had with my husband of 39 years! Seems Mr. April-3 was honest. I respect honest.

    • I do too. I mean, I’ve dealt with not honest, and that’s no good either! What I struggle with- especially in this type of situation- is when someone is being honest, but what they reveal is something I may not like about them. Do you cut your losses right then and move on, or give it another shot to see if it gets better? I would have gone out with April-3 again if he’d contacted me, but it didn’t happen. Maybe I need to re-visit my idea of what is a “deal-breaker”?

  2. This Mrs. August is with the other Mrs. August…I married super shy, unsure guy too. I tried to write him off and get him to go away, but clearly, he knew better. thank GOD. He was nothing that I wanted but everything that I needed.

  3. You actually should’ve given me his email or something. I could’ve contacted him pre-date and explained, one “efficient” talker to another, that he needn’t worry about not having anything to say, because we’ve been friends since elementary school, but mostly I just let you talk while I read one of your extensive collections of magazines.

  4. Pingback: Deal-breakers « accidentallysingle

  5. Pingback: The Rules-#1 « accidentallysingle

  6. Pingback: The Rules-#2 « accidentallysingle

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