Not off the hook yet…

I’m gonna be an aunt, y’all!

I guess we are telling people now-I say that because my mother posted it on Facebook, which is where all important news goes to become real. Like the Velveteen Rabbit or something.

Anyhoo, it went a little something like this:

MAMAJULY, to Facebook: In case you haven’t heard, my son is expecting a baby in February! It’s a boy! I’m gonna be a Grammy! FINALLY! (Ok, I may have added that last part myself. But that is totally what she meant.)

Cue the obligatory congratulatory remarks, the “OMG how is that possible”, and then insert Aunt Miss July snark here, of course. Because I just can’t help myself:

MissJuly, to MAMAJULY’s Facebook post: And thanks little brother, for buying me some more time. HA.

Do you know how MAMAJULY responds? Do you even want to know? My mother, wanting to make sure I clearly get the message that I still need to procreate and the SOONER the BETTER, responds on her Facebook post, “Sorry! I don’t think so!!!!!!!” Yes, the seven exclamation points are a direct quote.

Then, we proceed to have this little text exchange. Yes, she texted me for extra emphasis, in case I hadn’t seen the seven exclamation points, I suppose.

MAMA: This doesn’t get you off the hook for long

MissJuly: Damn

MAMA: Sorry!!!! (Only 4 exclamations here, I guess she calmed down from before.)

Well, if Mr. June wasn’t scared before, he probably is now.

Speaking of poor Mr. June, now’s your big chance! Mr. June has agreed to answer your questions…so leave ’em in the comments here or if you prefer to be anonymous/mysterious, email them to me ASAP at, OR if you know me in real life, call or text or see me at the watercooler or something. After conducting a very formal interview (I’m thinking tiny interrogation room with a single-bulb hanging from the ceiling, no-you-can’t-have-a-glass-of-water-CIA-style) I will post his heavily edited if he says something bad about me completely truthful responses in an “Ask Mr. June” post. Don’t be shy!

13 thoughts on “Not off the hook yet…

  1. Questions for Mr. June:
    Are you suffering from, or have you ever suffered from amnesia?
    Do you secretly believe some Republican/conservative ideas are valid?
    Do you use “y’all” when you’re only talking to one person?
    What is some small gesture you can do on any given day that makes Miss July happy?
    What is the first thing you think of when I say “kids”? (NO, don’t pause and think about your answer you faker, just SPIT IT OUT!)

    Okay. That’ll do for now.

  2. Everyone is being so clever, but I’ve got to know the actual details!!!

    Mr. June:

    (In general, not in a I-want-to-know-so-I-can-stalk-you way) Where do you work/what do you do and/or what do you want to be when you grow up?!

    Favorite place you’ve traveled? Where would you most like to travel?

    Do you have any pets?

    Are you originally from Nashville?

    And… I’m sure it’s difficult to narrow down to just one thing, but if you HAD to narrow it down, what one thing on your first date stood out/guaranteed there would be a 2nd date?! Obviously, Miss July is witty, beautiful, intelligent and charming, so it may be impossible to choose just one moment. But… give it a shot!

  3. Pingback: Mr. June, Continued « accidentallysingle

  4. Pingback: One | accidentallysingle

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