I’m gonna be an aunt, y’all!
I guess we are telling people now-I say that because my mother posted it on Facebook, which is where all important news goes to become real. Like the Velveteen Rabbit or something.
Anyhoo, it went a little something like this:
MAMAJULY, to Facebook: In case you haven’t heard, my son is expecting a baby in February! It’s a boy! I’m gonna be a Grammy! FINALLY! (Ok, I may have added that last part myself. But that is totally what she meant.)
Cue the obligatory congratulatory remarks, the “OMG how is that possible”, and then insert Aunt Miss July snark here, of course. Because I just can’t help myself:
MissJuly, to MAMAJULY’s Facebook post: And thanks little brother, for buying me some more time. HA.
Do you know how MAMAJULY responds? Do you even want to know? My mother, wanting to make sure I clearly get the message that I still need to procreate and the SOONER the BETTER, responds on her Facebook post, “Sorry! I don’t think so!!!!!!!” Yes, the seven exclamation points are a direct quote.
Then, we proceed to have this little text exchange. Yes, she texted me for extra emphasis, in case I hadn’t seen the seven exclamation points, I suppose.
MAMA: This doesn’t get you off the hook for long
MAMA: Sorry!!!! (Only 4 exclamations here, I guess she calmed down from before.)
Well, if Mr. June wasn’t scared before, he probably is now.
Speaking of poor Mr. June, now’s your big chance! Mr. June has agreed to answer your questions…so leave ’em in the comments here or if you prefer to be anonymous/mysterious, email them to me ASAP at email@example.com, OR if you know me in real life, call or text or see me at the watercooler or something. After conducting a very formal interview (I’m thinking tiny interrogation room with a single-bulb hanging from the ceiling, no-you-can’t-have-a-glass-of-water-CIA-style) I will post his
heavily edited if he says something bad about me completely truthful responses in an “Ask Mr. June” post. Don’t be shy!