Trust

When you ask successful couples, therapists, ministers, Cosmo and other relationship experts about what it takes to make your relationship last you will hear typical answers like honesty, communication, and trust. Maybe you’ll hear advice like, “Don’t go to bed angry,” or “Pick your battles,” and “Learn to compromise.”

These are all good, if somewhat generic answers. I’ve never been particularly good at picking my battles in life, and while I don’t think you should lie about big things, I try to avoid brutal honesty if it will needlessly hurt someone’s feelings. And I was an only child for 13 years, so compromise is difficult since mostly I’m used to getting what I want (hey, at least I’m being honest here). But you know what I do think is important? Trust. I know I could never be with anyone I didn’t trust-someone whose presence, words, and actions made me uneasy. One thing I liked about Mr. June right away was how I felt comfortable with him-and it’s generally hard for me to feel at ease with total strangers. On our first date, we discussed “no-no” first-date topics like politics and religion (I mean, don’t you want to make sure you can live with the other person’s views on those things sooner rather than later?) and I like someone who is willing to get into touchy subjects right off the bat-I think it shows that you have nothing to hide.

Now, Mr. June loves to joke that I don’t trust him-after all, he is a bit of a prankster and there are only so many times you can fool me before I get wise to your tricks. If he’s cooking and hands me something to sample, I inspect it carefully and sniff it to make sure it’s not been tainted. Or, if he comes straight from the kitchen and in for a kiss, I usually ask him what he just ate- a couple of onion-breath kisses will make a girl suspicious. And let’s just say there was an incident that resulted in ice down my pants while I was blow drying my hair. So, yeah.  If Mr. June is trying to act too sweet and innocent, I put up my defenses accordingly. But, all kidding aside…

I did something recently that made me realize how much I truly trust Mr. June.

I canceled my cable.

Yes, Miss July, television addict; who just recently confessed I keep my cable because I am addicted to the choices-canceled my cable (actually, I canceled Comcast totally out of my life, but more on that later). Mr. June had been trying to get me to do it for awhile. He has Amazon Prime, Netflix, and Hulu Plus accounts, and one of those nifty remote controls you can hook up to your TV to watch all those things on your big TV screen, so he said I can still watch anything I want (although I may have to wait-this exercise in my patience should be interesting). Of course I can still get local channels for free. But no more DVR, no more channel surfing. For anything else, like my favorite cable shows, Mr. June says he will find it for me somewhere out there on the internet eventually. I just may have to wait a bit for shows to become available. Did I mention I’m not good with delayed gratification? Yeah, this should be fun.

But that’s the worst part though, ya know? Depending on him to find what I want to watch, at least until I figure out the multiple remotes and such that now allow me to watch television. It’s not like he doesn’t KNOW about all the crappy embarrassing bad fun and entertaining shows I like to watch-soap operas, Sister Wives, The Bachelor and Teen Mom to name a few. But I typically save those shows for when he’s not around. So it’s like he KNOWS but he doesn’t really KNOW. You know? When I think of having to list them all out in order for him to procure them for me, I can just see his judgmental eyes and hear his sarcastic laugh as he tells me how much my taste in TV sucks. (To his credit, when I gave him the list, he did not look at me judgmentally OR laugh sarcastically OR tell me my taste in TV sucks even though I know that’s what he was thinking.) 

So, what happened? Well, partly Mr. June finally wore me down about getting rid of cable (which I was wasting a lot of money on) but I wasn’t totally prepared to give up channel surfing my beloved million cable channels. I had decided to compromise (see what I did there?) and give up the DVR and “fancy” channels. I also have a phone line I never use, so I called to change my service to just basic cable and internet, dropping everything else I didn’t use and could live without. I’d seen a deal advertised as regular prices, no special promotion involved (allegedly). While I didn’t expect Comcast to be thrilled to lose $100 of my money every month, some money is better than no money, right? Wrong.

I’ll spare you the details because I know you don’t really care but after 2 phone calls, the latter of which had me speaking with three different people for an hour and a half (and getting the side-eye from Mr. June as I told employee #3 I didn’t care how many overtime hours he’d been working since we were supposed to be discussing my problems), I got really fed up and canceled. All of it. I no longer have cable, internet, or a land line phone (from Comcast, at least). And that’s when I realized-I really do trust Mr. June. I’m not worried about my options. I am worried about learning to use the technology that will allow me to see things when I turn on the TV; but I know he’ll teach me. Probably pretty patiently too, even when I get really frustrated (which is totally going to happen because I hate technology and it generally hates me right back).

Update: I wrote this blog post a couple of months ago, and apparently never published it! Oops! However, this gives me the chance to tell y’all how it’s been living without cable and my beloved DVR. You know what? It’s fine. I haven’t regretted it at all! I’ve semi-mastered having 4 remotes for every television. I still screw up the TV every now and then and can’t get anything but a blue screen, and I’ve had to call Mr. June many a time to talk me through fixing it. Almost all the shows I like are on Hulu, and just like with the DVR, I can watch them any time I want (as long as I keep the remotes straight)! Now that my love of bad TV is out in the open, instead of DVR-ing The Bachelor to watch in secret later, I watch it live and make Mr. June watch it with me. I bet he wishes we still had secrets. You all should see the look on his face when he walks in the door and I tell him, “You’re just in time to watch Hart of Dixie!” Yeah. Priceless.

Update #2: Mr. June thought his birthday post was really sweet, yet informed me there was a major omission to the list. “You forgot about Angry Birds.”  Yes, yes I did. So, #11. Angry Birds. I made fun of him relentlessly for playing Angry Birds, then on Christmas he handed me his tablet , taught me to “shoot the bird” and I haven’t done a productive thing since. Which is probably why I forgot to put it on the list- I have permanent Angry Bird brain now. My apologies for this glaring oversight, Mr. June. What would I do without you???

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6 thoughts on “Trust

    • Thanks for the comment Mark-I wish I had known you back when I had the problem! I spent a week trying to resolve my issues. A little too late now, but thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  1. Okay, the reply from Comcast was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. Please tell me you don’t know him. Please tell me it’s his job to troll the internet seeking out and responding to complaints about Comcast. Bless his heart.

    Oh, and we need to get together and have an in-depth conversation about this cable thing. I’m considering it.

    • Hand to God, I have no idea who the Comcast guy is unless I’m being punked. I think these big companies do pay people to troll the internet. Awesome.

      Yes, I recommend it, we’ll discuss. I have a couple of different set-ups around the house. 🙂

  2. I’ve been away from the blogosphere for quite some time, but I’m thrilled to return to read yours and find you in an amazing relationship! Congrats! Now tell the rest of us how you do it… 🙂

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